April 10, 2013
4:35 AM EDT / 1:35 AM PDT
To Adapt is Not To Be.
At 4:35 AM Eastern Time on April 10th, the Moon is New in the 21st degree of Aries. This New Moon is the opening passage of a six-month astrological crescendo, during which the outer planets will station retrograde and form a series of stressful aspects.
It’s important to understand that every New Moon is an opening, an opportunity to re-enter the lunar cycle with a fresh outlook. I think of them as a chance to commit to a certain point of view that I think will help during the weeks to come.
This particular Moon highlights the soul’s struggle for expression in a soulless society. A basic truth is that we are individuals and as such, may express ourselves in ways that displease others. And another truth is that we are societally conditioned to please others. So we have these adaptive selves, which veer us away from true self-expression, in order to keep the audience smiling.
This adaptive self operates as an incredibly sensitive antenna, and what it receives is how others are receiving us. You could say that it lives vicariously, through the impressions others have of us. Or even more, it is concerned with the energy field of those around us, in such a way that it is molded by and guided by the organizational structures of our lives. In some way, we can be anything to anyone.
There’s the workplace-adaptive self; there’s the family-of-origin-adaptive self; there’s the relationship-adaptive self, and so on. And each of these adaptive selves is rewarded – there’s an immediate benefit to those sorts of adaptations.
But there’s also this one inside of us who cringes at the adaptations, the one who we would be if we weren’t constantly modifying ourselves to fit in. It’s like this steady sensibility of life that actually speaks truth in all situations, but which, especially when we’re younger, tends to be kept inside.
In a way it’s funny that I am saying that the tendency when we’re young is to be adaptive, because when we picture the youthful what we tend to see is rebellious, impetuous, and so on. But you have to understand that life itself is this trial-and-error process and that, because of our prenatal arrangements, we have to set the stage for our true self-expression to emerge. So if young Jimmy goes hard into the punk rock expression and no one can understand why he’s so pierced up, or becomes an acerbic vegan who can’t eat with the family, or you know, that kind of thing, it’s not like his true self is rearing up at that time. That’s more about creating the karma of future growth opportunity. It’s necessary to create a story of the self which becomes the one from which our true self emerges. So that’s really what we’re doing in our 20’s and 30’s.
Because in reality, the true self is not likely to be really jazzy or fancy or stylized. Which is one reason that the adaptive self seems so much more rewarding for so long. There’s a lot of buzz to wear out. And the truth is that a lot of people never do quite get over the pleasure of living vicariously through the response others have to them.
And I’ll just say that I’m walking a tenuous path, trying to write this one. Because it’s not for me, or anyone, to say how this looks or feels to you. Or when in your life it will come to pass that you no longer modify yourself to fit in to situations in ways that you really don’t care for. Or even how far it’s possible to go with letting your true sense of who you are guide you in your relationships to others.
I truly believe that there are millions of young people alive now who, because of conscious parenting, have never had to be adaptive in the sense that I’m talking about. But they’re still youthful, and so have to go through all the hairstyles and so on while they settle into being the one they really are. They’re just going to have an easier time of it than those of us who have swallowed a lot to make others happy.
And really the thing is that when you are comfortable with yourself you allow others to be comfortable with themselves. The Earth is covered with human beings wanting to squeeze through any crack in the veneer of commercial society that they can find.
Maybe you’ve had the experience, in a relationship, where one of you finally fesses up to some hidden thing – and suddenly there’s this rush of sharing that happens. And suddenly you’ve got this incredible friend in the world, who knows who you really are.
Well, guess what? You can do that – and I believe that millions of people are doing it – anywhere and anytime. All it takes is a desire to sense when you are more concerned with how you are being received than how truthful you are being.
So this Moon is a chance to set, as a goal, true self-expression. It’s a chance to say out loud that life is not actually a costume party. It’s an opportunity to say to yourself that until the next New Moon (on May 9th), that you will give yourself the benefit of the doubt, rather than appeasing someone else’s expectations of you.
It may not necessarily be fun – and that’s the part of this that is so hard to explain. You really have to get clear about what’s yours and what’s not. You have to be willing to see who you are now, to recognize yourself as a product of your history, and to step forward from there, on your own.
It’s not about how carefully you shave, or how much energy you put into your costume, or if you have the right useless objects in your home.
At a certain point, your survival instincts are replaced by a desire for freedom. It’s not always possible to distinguish truth from rebellion-for-appearances, but this is the month to work on that.
If you think about it, there has always been this one person who is looking out of your eyes. From your eyeballs back, who are you?
The gods/guides/archetypal emanations we call planets are trying to find you.
May the Moon set you free!
You are sensing these openings, into which love can be born. May you fill these with your blessing, for you are ready to do this.
Now is the time, and you are the one.